Nobody Likes a Desperado

via email:

"dear m. rose,

i don't understand why i can't get a boyfriend. i do everything i can to get one, i'll do whatever the guy asks me to do, and help him with his errands, and i don't hold off on sleeping with him or anything, so why is it that guys don't like me? i will admit, i get a little jealous if guys aren't paying attention to me but i think i'm attractive enough so i don't know what's wrong. any advice?

-anonymous"


Ah, the inevitable dilemma: what do guys want? While I don't claim to know the depths of the male mind entirely (chicks, beer, football?), I sense an air that you're giving off that, believe it or not, may turn off potential male suitors. That air is the thick odorous stank of Desperation. You're coming off to men as a little too desperate for a boyfriend. Sometimes women think this is what guys want- a girl who's willing to do anything for them, to bend over backwards and sideways so that a guy will love her. Incorrecto! The only men you'll attract with this plan are ones who are desperate for a girlfriend, meaning they'll date anyone who will have them. Not really the kind of guy you want as a boyfriend, right?

If you want to snag a guy who's not desperate, it's okay to be yourself. Lay off on the errands and doing whatever he wants. Most men like it when a girl has opinions, a mind of her own, even a life of her own. It makes you interesting and draws guys to you when you look fulfilled without a boyfriend. Think of boyfriends as an added supplement to your life diet, like the vitamins you pop in the morning- they're not your entire food pyramid. Maybe if you cool it on finding a boyfriend, you'll see that you're fine without one.

Focus on building yourself up first. When you're feeling good about you, you'll start attracting good people to you. It's that simple. Oh and try to squash those feelings of jealously- green isn't even a good color on Kermit the Frog.